How do I manage recovering from an ED AND classes?

PicMonkey Collage jan 24 2013

By Christine Saah:

School is back in session. No more sleeping in or staying in your pajamas all day. All of a sudden college students need to start waking up in time for an 8 am class, and do that annoying thing called homework. After a month of recovering from an exhausting semester, you are thrown right back into things. For me, it means I am faced with some of my biggest triggers. I have worked very hard to recover from ED, and I certainly do not want my progress to be hindered. The day before classes began I had to ask myself how I was going to stay focused on recovery. I also thought about how I would deal with a slip up.

I took this to prayer, and just asked for the strength to persevere in my battle. I suddenly realized that my battle against ED was already won. Victory came when Christ conquered death and rose from the dead. I felt reassured and confident in my God. All things are possible with Him. I just need to believe that Christ is transforming me each day as I fight temptation to act on symptoms. Even though I have gone so long without a binge, the temptation can still be very strong in any given moment. I can use what I learned over break and through my counseling sessions to deal with moments like this. Mainly, I am very aware of what my triggers are. It is so important to identify what will set you off and to know your limits. For example, it is still difficult for me when I come back to my apartment and I am alone. Being left alone is one of my triggers. Awareness can lead to preparedness to fight temptation. I have prepared myself by keeping little food in my actual apartment. I have a meal plan so if I need food I can easily go get it from the cafeteria. I know that I am not strong enough to fight the urges at this moment.

Being humble and acknowledging where I am weak has been a blessing. For example, I am very prone to over exercise. I am also very uncomfortable working out around others, yet scared to do it alone for fear of pushing myself too far. I decided to participate in the group exercise classes that my school’s gym offers. I have opportunities to do Zumba, Body Pump, Body Combat, and even PiYo. The workouts are so much fun, and being around others makes it more fun. No one in the class is sitting there and judging my every move.  I realized we are all just trying to get in shape, and that having different levels of fitness is okay. I am still uncomfortable, but I know it will get better if I just keep giving this new way of approaching fitness a chance.

Incorporating exercise into my daily routine made me concerned about my nutrition. If I want to stay fit and active, I have to eat right. My schedule is insane, but I know that including my meals in my planning is important. I also include prayer, adoration, confession, work, classes, and homework time. I made a goal to include all the food groups with every meal by including a grain, fruit/veggie, dairy and a protein. This past week I have not been able to do this perfectly, but I cannot give up. I just have to keep going!

Each moment is a new chance to find strength, hope, and real beauty through God. God loves me (and you reading this) in every single moment. He loves you when you slip up and when you don’t. He is probably closest to you in the moment you think you have failed, because he is eagerly waiting for you to turn back to Him. God knows you well and will guide you. In my case, he knows I hate that I have to go to a counselor and a psychiatrist. I grit my teeth out of frustration most of the time, but I am always glad I made it to all my appointments. I am thankful, because I know it has helped and that God wants me to use my resources. School can make it harder to take care of yourself, but recovery is a time to heal and do what is best for you. I had to focus on what I needed so that I could be built up by Christ. I can finally be a tool to foster hope and strength. I believe that my struggle has made me know authentic beauty that can only be found in Christ.

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