You are not damaged. You are not baggage to be managed.

By Erin McNew | Staff Writer

Photo credit: Donna Irene Photography

It is absolutely incredible how we learn strength out of brokenness and righteousness out of misadventure. I’m six months out of what I hope to be the worst relationship of my life and every day I find new blessings in healing. I find strength in painful memories and resilience in sight of the face I once thought I’d spend forever with.

I guess I kind of have someone new in my life right now. And as weird as it is, I truly feel that whatever way it ends up it’s a blessing. He walked me home a few nights ago leaving me with a kiss on the forehead, and, upon entering my room I just plopped down on my bed and cried. No joke, ladies. Six month later and that pain still sneaks its way out sometimes. I cried because I realized that everything I thought was normal in romance was wrong. That there was a man out there who thought I was smart instead of naïve. Strong instead of childlike. Who saw innocence as something to preserve rather than test. Who would make me a priority instead of an option. Tear after tear fell and with each bit of pain and each memory that crept up into my head I felt lighter. I felt that pain turning into strength. I started to feel like I’d been waiting to feel for so long.

Ladies, every day God is making me new. He’s showing that a bad situation has the infinite possibility of being turned into grace. And, if you allow Him the opportunity, I know He’ll do the same for you. He’ll show you that your instance of abuse doesn’t have to be a pattern. That you can stop it in its tracks by taking refuge in His embrace. He’ll show you that it’s not normal to be mistreated. That love can be passionate without raising its voice. That connection can be established without forced touches. That you can be seen as small in a man’s arm without him having to make you so with loveless words. You, darling, deserve the absolute best. And your story of abuse? Consider yourself blessed because, though you may not realize it yet, it ends in hope.

You are beautiful. You are strong. You are whole. You are moving forward. Your abuse does not define you. Metaphorical and literal bruising will heal. You are not damaged. You are not baggage to be managed. You are just loved. In every sense of the word. Ladies, don’t give up on yourself. Because I’m not giving up on you. And God’s not giving up on you. Your family is not giving up on you. And there’s a man out there who will never give up on you.

You deserve to be cherished. There is beauty and blessing in leaving it all behind.

Broken things are precious. We eat broken bread because we share in the depth of our Lord and His broken life. Broken flowers give perfume. Broken incense is used in adoration. A broken ship saved Paul and many other passengers on their way to Rome. Sometimes the only way the good Lord can get into some hearts is to break them. – Fulton Sheen

P.S. You are enough.