Finding Her Through God’s Heart
By John Finch | Guest Blogger
It is easy to get caught up in the dating scene. Whether you’re in high school, maybe college, it just seems like the thing to do. Maybe you or a friend or a friend of a friend just began a relationship or maybe just ended one; either way, relationships are typically something guys initiate. Not because men are better, but because isn’t that how it usually works? She may be smiling at you from across the room at Starbucks, or gives you the sign of peace in the pew three rows in front of you at mass and you’re like, connection or maybe she’s cheering you on from the stands in the last quarter of your championship football game. She obviously likes you and is giving you a good bit of attention. Suddenly, all the pressure is on you. Slow down, deep breath, stop. You have to be completely ready. Relationships are wonderful, they are totally fun as they should be, but at the same time they are serious. You may be the guy that has dated over and over again and it just never really worked out, or maybe you’ve never been in an actual relationship and that is totally okay because like I said, this is a serious thing, and a big deal! You have to be fully ready and deeply invested in Christ through prayer and love.
Prayer. I cannot possibly begin to emphasize enough on prayer and discernment. Praying means being alert to the fact that God is interested in you. You must allow God to move in your heart, giving you the right direction and peace to know that He is calling you to a relationship. Begin to discern God’s will for you remembering that our ways are not always His ways (Isaiah 55:8). We must surrender to His will because without a doubt, God’s plan is way better than ours, so keep an eye or ear out for that. He’s looking out for you! As Catholics, we are so blessed to have the sacrament of the Holy Eucharist. We are given opportunities to spend time with our Lord where He is perfectly present in Eucharistic Adoration. If given the opportunity to go, take it!
Dudes, what could possibly be better than bro time with J. Christ? Philippians 4:6 reads, Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. Remember, God hears and answers all of our prayers but doesn’t necessarily answer them the way we would see it. But at some point, we come to understand why He answered the way He did, because it’s how God sees it which is ultimately for our good. Lines like, Are you an angel, cause you’re the answer to all my prayers, might work for a while, but I challenge you to genuinely keep the future woman in your life in your prayers, whoever she may be, she’s beautiful, and God will reveal her to you when you are both ready.
Love. God knows the language of your heart. The only way a relationship will work is if you invest in a true relationship with God. You need to love Him above all else. To love God is to know Him. The only way you will be equipped to love others is by first, loving God with all your being and secondly, loving yourself for who you are. You know often we truly forget our worth, our value, our image because it’s distorted by a chaotic world that sends false messages that appear more effectively as truths, such as pornography, drugs, or lust, all things that wreck our relationship with God, our families and the ones we love most. Blessed John Paul the Great once said, We are not the sum of our weakness and failures; we are the sum of the Father’s love for us and our real capacity to become the image of His Son.
Our life is a gift meant to be given to others. We are miracles, uniquely designed for a specific calling, with one of the greatest being; heaven, and helping as many of our brothers and sisters get there as well. As men, we need to love that much! For a long time after several relationships, I lost the sense of what true love really was or felt like. I wasn’t really sure if I ever felt it because many times I was caught up in the emotions, which made love so temporary. After my last relationship ended, I was honestly afraid to love ever again. I was confused, I didn’t understand what love even meant anymore. God was so far away and I began to push Him out of many parts of my life. I didn’t know what love was because I didn’t know Love Himself, and that is Jesus Christ, God who became Man, who became sin to deliver me of my wrongdoings. He was always right there with me with open arms, He was tugging on my heart, calling my name. Even me, a sinner, a guy who was so lost, so broken, so afraid, He never gave up on me and that means wherever you are, He hasn’t given up on you and He never will.
From time to time, God allows us to be single. Being single isn’t being lonely or afraid, it is growing in holiness and learning to fall in love with God. That’s definitely something I have realized after giving my relationships to Him, and if that is the only thing I’ve learned, then it was all worth it. Pray for God to grant you the grace you need to properly discern whether or not you are truly ready to fully commit to a relationship and to not date out of temporary emotions. Pray for guidance, working with God to form a relationship out of genuine love and sacrifice that points straight back to the Cross. You may not marry your high school sweetheart, but whoever she may be, you will only find her through God’s heart.
P.S. You are enough.
