Keep Going Beautiful
By Christine Saah | Guest Blogger
Don’t stop. Don’t ever give up. This is much easier said than done.
Don’t we all wish it was so much easier to keep going through the trials of life without constantly wanting to crawl into bed, and cry? Every day there’s a moment where I want to cave. There are several thoughts that run through my mind, and depending on the day, any combination of these things happen. First, I start to complain about how things aren’t fair. I look for every single thing that alleviates some of the pressure from me, but in the end I only end up more stressed. A second thought is that I blame myself for letting things get so bad and this one thing that triggered the stress makes me think everything I have done has made me a complete failure. This is known as a snowball effect, and in this, one thing causes another thing to happen and then before you know it everything is effected. This is a recipe for an emotional breakdown. If you’re like me, you’ve probably already faced 2 or 3 moments of the semester where you don’t think you can keep going. But no matter how many times you break down or lose hope, you have to keep going.
How does one keep going and persevere? I wish I could tell you the perfect way to get through all the tough stuff in life without having to feel so awful. I wish I could tell you that the pain you feel could evaporate. I’d be lying if I let you believe this. These struggles, such as being a college student, having an eating disorder, practicing self harm, or being depressed, are a part of who you are (I know, I know keep reading). They make you that special person chosen by God to carry the cross. Your cross, or struggles, are nothing when you kneel down to the crucifix. It doesn’t mean they don’t hurt, or seem too heavy at times, but they will never overtake you. The reason that I know that both you and I will get through this is the simple fact that Christ rose from the dead. When Christ carried His cross, was nailed to it, died, and rose again on the third day, He did something that changed the course of history. He conquered Satan, and opened the gates of Heaven. He didn’t destroy sin, because clearly it still exists. However, He made it possible for us to fall into God’s merciful Arms each time we do sin.
On a more practical level, one can persevere by making small choices to do what one knows is right. If you are struggling with bingeing and purging, set small goals to purge less frequently and eventually you will find yourself achieving bigger goals of not having an episode for extended periods of time. The same idea applies for someone who self harms.The bigger goals can’t happen without some in-between goals. I have always been told to really break a habit one must replace it with something new. This becomes an opportunity to have a new healthy coping mechanism. I also really want to emphasize the fact that sometimes we just can’t do everything we set on our plate. There comes a point where persevering under the pressure doesn’t mean getting everything you want to get done, done. Perseverance becomes a moment in which one chooses not to let the moment of failure define one’s self. Your mistakes do not define you. Your struggles also don’t define you. I said they are a part of who you are, but they are not you. You have to understand that your identity does not rest on anything external. You’re identity lies in Christ alone.
What exactly does it mean to find one’s identity in Christ? It means that the gifts we all have are gifts that Christ had. His words, and teachings are all a model for us to live by. The world seems all too focused on the external sense of identity which makes it difficult to understand how one can be made in the image and likeness of God. We aren’t God, but have Him within us. He made us like Him, but not Him. This is an incredible gift, because we get to live in the flesh. This becomes trouble when we give into the sins of the flesh, but the more we work on our interior and making it match our external actions, the more like God we become.
There are times when I’ve been so sure I would never binge and purge again in my life. I just knew I would never do it again. This sense of certainty was wrong. I did binge and purge again. In fact, it’s been only a week since the last time it happened. However, I refuse to let this fall keep me down. It’s not about the fall. It’s about getting up after the fall. The story is still being written for us all, and if we stop trying to end the chapters prematurely maybe persevering won’t be so hard.
