Should I Stay With Him or Leave Him?

The author wished to remain anonymous.

It was 2006 and I was 15 years old. I was finishing my freshman year of high school. A friend and I went to youth group together for the first time and we were very excited. As I walked in there he was just sitting on the couch as if he was waiting for me his whole life. Instantly, I fell for him.

We started dating right after that and were inseparable. Dating went on, many fights occurred but we still stayed together. About seven months into dating I said, I love you for the first time to anyone. He told me many times before I just could never say it. He was in shock but he still said it back.

After that things with us started getting physical. I hated myself for it. We never had sex but things would get close. Arguments became worse, he called me bitch and asshole. As we went through our relationship many red flags were thrown right in front of my face, but I would make myself think that it was nothing. I would see the way he treated his mother. He called her the same foul names he called me, but I just ignored it.

He acted like it was his 21^st birthday every weekend. I would get drunken phone calls and late night visits where again we would get physical. He did have good qualities. I had to babysit early in the mornings so he would bring me breakfast before the children woke up. He was a very hard worker on his family farm. He told me he loved me and couldn’t wait to marry me someday.

After a year and three months of dating I went on a youth retreat. On this retreat there was a time for girl time. It was there that the youth leader told us about 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

This verse was not for the lovey romance that everyone wants to hear. She told us to do one of two things. Replace the word Love and put the name of your significant other and see if it fits. For example, Bob is patient, Bob is kind and so on. And if their name does not fit, he probably is not a fit. Not everyone is perfect, there is probably not one person that fits every statement perfectly but they should be close. Then she said to put our name and see how we are living for Christ and living how he wants us to live. Christ was not in the top of our relationship.

My boyfriends name did not fit. When I got back from the retreat I broke up with him. He was very upset by it but it had to be done. The years went on and we stayed civil to each other. 2009 came around and he told me, I still love you. For the next two years we went back and forth trying to date or just be friends and that just started everything all over again. I thought I had to do physical stuff with him in order to keep him. For two years I was in an emotional rollercoaster.

The last straw was when he came over to my house drunk. We sat and talked then he took his hands and put them around my neck and shook me. I had red marks on my neck. Then he was about to leave and he bit my thigh, very hard. It looked like I was hit with a softball. It turned black and blue instantly.

After that night I knew I was done. Ten days later I left for World Youth Day in Spain. I met new people and made new friends that I still keep to this day. My eyes were opened to what a real man and relationship should be. I am now engaged to a wonderful man who helps me get closer to Christ and I know this will keep growing into our marriage. God is a top priority no mater what. I suffered emotional, physical and verbal abuse. God has helped me through my struggles and achievements. Let Him be a part of your life and see what He can do for you.

P.S. You are enough.