Shunning Every Reflection

I use to shun every reflection of myself, whether that be in a mirror, window, water, or glass. If I saw myself I shuttered. Ahh, I’m so ugly, I would whisper. I can’t even stand the sight of myself. Then I went to Kolkata, India to serve the dying in the slums. While there I served some of the most vulnerable people on earth. One woman there who weighed probably fifty pounds gently touched my face with her dry, shriveled and dying hand and said, pretty. Tears formed in my eyes, rolled down my cheeks and unto her bed. She took my hand and said, strong. As I fed her she said, thank you. She hugged me and said, brave. At first I didn’t understand. Then she kissed me softly and said, love. 

That woman showed me a glimpse of God the Father’s love, and the beauty that He sees in each of us. The concept of being beautiful took me years to unravel and I will never stops growing and learning. I use to think everyone else was worthy of being beautiful, everyone but me. My time in India changed that.

When I came home, I removed the towels I use to put on my mirrors. I washed my face and combed my hair, as I glanced in the mirror without cringing. I wore short sleeves and shorts. I gazed at my reflection from time to time and didn’t see an ugly human being anymore.

How did I get there one might ask? Below is what I did multiple times throughout the day. And today, all the glory to God, I know that I’m beautiful because He created me, and He doesn’t create ugly.

I want to suggest that each morning when you look at yourself in the mirror, instead of being hard on yourself and seeing all of your imperfections to say the following – Father in Heaven, please show me the dignity I possess as Your daughter. I’m beautiful because I’m your daughter, created in Your image and likeness, show me the beauty You see. Show me how precious I am in Your eyes, for I long to see it. Even if you don’t “feel” like saying this, do it anyway. I prayed that prayer for over two years when I was struggling, and continue to say it daily.

Start with this exercises and I will post more sooner.

P.S. You’re enough.