Maura’s Motherhood Musings
By Maura Preszler
I struggle so much with perfection. Even starting this blog post is hard for me because I know I have to write quickly while my boys are both napping. And I want my writing to be perfect but I am really trying to let go of perfectionism and just be. So here I am starting a blog post which will not be perfect because I don’t have a lot of time to write, edit, reword things or thinks things through. So I’m just going to begin.
Several people have written and asked, So what’s it like to be a mom and run Made in His Image? Let me tell you, it’s hard, which definitely comes back to my struggle with perfectionism. I simply want things to be perfect when they obviously can’t be. My husband and I have two beautiful and healthy baby boys which bring us immense joy, but many challenges as well.
The other morning my husband Michael texted me, How’s your morning going sweetie? To which I responded, My morning so far has involved wiping the boys butts many times, cleaning up lots of poop, milk, messy faces, cleaning up crumbs and spills, lots of laundry, playing with the boys, reading to them and lots of laughter.
I love being a mom. The days my sons were born were the most amazing days. I can’t even put into words how incredible they were. But as a stay at home working mom it can be very easy to fall into the comparison trap of comparing my work to raising the boys. Sometimes, well most times, it’s so easy to not see what I am doing as a stay at home mom as something important. It’s such a paradox because I love it but it’s hard.
It’s so hard when the boys don’t sleep. Last night I was up ten times and no the boys were not sick, they are just really struggling sleeping right now. My husband made a joke about Heaven and I said, if I get to Heaven I want to sleep for at least a week straight before enjoying it.
But you won’t need sleep in Heaven, he said.
I know but I just want to.
I try to wake up in the mornings to pray before the boys get up. This morning I didn’t because I could barely move after last night. When I heard the baby starting to cry I prayed for five minutes in bed before going to get him. I usually start prayer by thanking God for the day and various things I’m grateful for. I must have been so delirious because I thanked God for my name five times. I blame that on the sleep deprivation. I plan on waking the boys every hour when they’re in high school.
The other night I woke up to both the boys crying and thought I was dreaming. I thought to myself, who would let their children cry like that? Oh those are my children! Send all the coffee my way.
For all my mamas out there who are braving sleepless nights, spit up, blow outs, changing diapers round the clock, wiping messy peanut butter faces, sweeping up crumbs galore, never getting a minute to go to the bathroom in peace or enjoy a cup of hot coffee I hope you like this quote as much as I do. You are seen and you are doing the most important job. You are raising little humans and teaching them how to love, show empathy and compassion. You are raising little saints to know Jesus.
The future belongs to people with children, not with things. Things rust and break. But every child is a universe of possibility that reaches into eternity, connecting our memories and our hopes in a sign of God’s love across the generations. That’s what matters. The soul of a child is forever. – Archbishop Chaput
I’m a very organized and clean person… hello perfectionism. A messy house really bothers me but I am learning to let it go. There will always be a mess to clean, dishes to be washed, laundry to be folded, a floor to be mopped, things to put away and a bathroom or two to scrub. But the most important job that God has asked of me after being Michael’s wife is to take care of two adorable little ones and to be present to them. To love them with everything I have, to give to them even when I’m beyond exhausted and my coffee needs a coffee. This is the most important work. There will always be emails to answer and work to do but my boys will only be little for a short time and I want them to remember me as being present to them.
I just wanted to encourage other mothers out there that it’s okay, this to shall pass and to remember all the blessings we have, for despite the crosses and sufferings it truly is a beautiful gift.
We always make the mistake of thinking that it is what we do that matters, when really what matters is what we let God do to us. God sent the angel to Mary, not to ask her to do something, but to let something be done. – Fulton Sheen
P.S. You are enough.