Pulling out all the stops to make her mine

oct 10th 2012

This is an incredibly beautiful post by my sister’s boyfriend. Wait for this kind of love ladies! This is what you are worth!!

By Jack Beers:

For most of my young life I have been searching for the woman I could share my heart with. Perhaps unlike most people, I never developed a list of necessary qualifications for what she would look like, what her dreams would be, how many kids she would want etc. Instead, I have always believed that I would just know when I met her. In other words, if I simply prepared myself for this mystery woman the moment she came into my life I would spring into action and make her mine. My friends would often laugh at me or become perplexed by my failure to describe my ideal for the perfect woman. I knew, however, that anything I could imagine in my own mind paled in comparison to what God had in store for me, so why cloud my vision with images of a person who could never measure up to the real thing?

Further, famous authors and decorated poets have failed throughout human history to describe why a man fits a woman and vice versa. The best they have come up with are descriptive words like “destiny” and “soul mates” which are words that only mean something to the parties involved. In other words, my future wife and I would be right for each other because of certain immeasurable incomprehensible intangible qualities that break the barriers of human vocabulary.

I met Clare, not coincidentally, during the precise moment in my life when I decided to begin the process of handing my heart over to God. Much of my dating, up to that point, was characterized by, what I call the pitfall of the damsel in distress. Every day I met young women filled with deep-rooted insecurities that crippled their ability to truly live and love. Every girl I dated seemed to fit that mold and my attraction to them rested in my desire to fix their problems and carry their burdens. For their part, the girls were waiting for someone to save, guide, and eventually fulfill their lives.

I desperately wanted to fill the void in their lives with my love. What I learned, the hard way, was that this was impossible, if not for any other reason than I would never be strong enough to carry their cross and mine. More importantly, no man ever would. Prompted by too many failures, I engaged in a deep examination of my innermost insecurities and imperfections. What I found was a call from God, not to be perfect or a savior, but simply to be an example of His love to the world.

Answering the call to be baptized in the Lord and receive His very presence into the temple of my soul opened my eyes to a world, not filled with pain and sorrow like it had been, but one of unimaginable grace. When the Lord opened my eyes, I saw one of the most beautiful sights these eyes have ever beheld: Clare.

I must confess, however, I had to shake my head and wipe my eyes because what I was seeing was not what most would qualify as a traditionally “wow” moment. She was in shorts and a t-shirt, sweaty from a run, and her hair seemed to have a mind of its own, but I was mesmerized. Maybe it was the way she spoke about her hopes and dreams for the future with such simplicity and honesty. Or maybe it was how her mere presence lifted my heart up to dream bigger and strive for a life’s standard that never before seemed achievable. My theory though, is that in that moment, Clare gave me a glimpse of how beautiful she truly is. She never seems to be comfortable when I say she is beautiful and, like most women, does not think it’s true. To me, this is because she fails to understand why a man of faith can see a woman drenched in all her imperfections and proclaim beauty. What I saw in Clare that night was not just the attractive features of her physical self; instead, it was the translucent nature of her speech that allowed the light of God deep within her to burst through the sound of her voice and the look in her eyes. She was, is, and always will be beautiful because with her I know I am loved by God.

Before that night Clare and I had only known each other for a few weeks.  I could tell she was at least interested but I had no intention of just dating Clare. Her strength and faith immediately told me she was not a girl to be messed with and if I wanted to play games I should not waste my time or hers. So I developed a plan of action which focused on showing her I was interested in knowing who she truly was while simultaneously letting her into my world. Instead of showering her with flowers and promises, I wanted to show her tangible action. I broke all of the dating taboo’s I had learned like calling her the same day of seeing her, making plans in the future, and giving her little pieces of my heart before securing her commitment to the relationship. I knew she was worth pulling out all the stops and I had to go all out to make her mine. I made a silent vow to her and God, that no matter how challenging or difficult things would become, she was going to know how I felt and what I intended. Since that day Clare and I have been on a wonderful, albeit challenging and sometimes painful, journey together. Each day we fight for one another and call each other higher to a deeper and fuller relationship with Jesus Christ. While I cannot tell you exactly what our future will hold, I know could not ask for a better partner to help fill the world with God’s love.

What is wonderful about my experience is that it is not an anomaly. There is never a reason to settle for anything less than who God created you to be and there is never a reason to settle for the relationship that makes sense or is simply pretty good. True love, like the Father’s, helps mold and compel you to strive for your God-given potential. I will pray you all have the grace and patience to find your true calling in life and that your life is abundantly filled with God’s love!

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