Something has got to change. This has to end somewhere.
Last night I received the following email from an incredibly courageous woman. Please read, and glean hope and healing from her story, from the Father’s love and healing touch, and from the Saints in Heaven, who are waiting to intercede for you. All the glory to the Father!
I appreciate all the work with you and thought I would share a success I had tonight. I’ve been struggling a lot lately, and it’s been really hard for me to get through a single day without either restricting or binging and purging. Today, I ate dinner with my mom before going to my evening chemistry lab. When I got out of the car and was walking into the building, I was overcome with a desire to purge. It’s still really uncomfortable for me to sit with and digest meals because I’m not used to it, so I was both physically and mentally uncomfortable.
As I was walking, I thought to myself, “Something has got to change. This has to end somewhere.” I started saying Hail Mary’s in tune with my walking steps. Then I thought of you and decided to say a prayer to Padre Pio, whom I’ve actually never prayed for before. I asked him to pray for me, that I may have the strength not to purge.
Well, I made it through the night. I sat down outside of my lab even though I was early, and I started up a conversation with one of my lab partners and ended up getting through the anxiety. Days like this give me hope, which I’m a little low on these days.
I still remember the day you came and visited me in the hospital and shared part of your story with me. I felt honored and inspired. I know that one day I can achieve the kind of recovery that the Lord has blessed you with. I’m trying to make peace with the fact that this is a long and difficult journey, and honestly, I’m not very good at suffering in patience. I just want it to be over already, and I get frustrated.
Reading your blog helps me remember that there is a kind of beauty to suffering, to sharing our own personal crosses, and to connecting with God and with His children through suffering. In fact, had I never hit the low that I hit in my early college years, I probably still wouldn’t be going to Mass today. So there are blessings if we look hard enough. Thank you for encouraging me to look hard enough.
I am excited for the work you and MIHI will accomplish. I am proud of you because I know what it is to want to give up, and so the fact that you’ve made it this far is amazing. I look forward to joining you in “walking before the Lord in the land of the living.” (Psalm 116:9)
