The Beautiful Ache


By Tori Vissat | Guest Blogger

The desires seem to be sitting on my shoulder for all to see.

They are exposed, sometimes painful and sometimes beautiful.

But I know that they are always on some level, very beautiful…because God is the author of them. For the longest time, I hardened my heart to authentic love.

To pure love. To a love that only gives. To a love that mirrors the love of Christ, This is My body, given up for you.

How truly wonderful it would be if one day my Lord would allow that to be a reality for me, with another person, on our wedding night.

But with all good things, the devil himself waits to destroy these thoughts!

“Those desires are not from your Father! You made them up…you are crazy to think that would happen! You are far too bad for God to fill your hearts greatest ache!”

And so it is, the great battle wages on the one where I must make a free choice over and over again to believe that my Father is good, to say “yes” like Mary that what was promised would be fulfilled and to cry out like Peter, Yes Lord, you know that I love you.

Jesus’ timing is not mine. I cannot be like Eve and grasp for what I think I need and want. I must wait in the silence sitting with the ache in my heart. For the greatest of these is hope and hope will not disappoint.

P.S. You are enough.

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