The Semester Just Ended… Now What?

The following is written by a beautiful young woman involved with MIHI:

I am now a junior in college, and have returned home for my second to last winter break. Even though it’s a “break,” it does not mean that I can sit around and do absolutely nothing. I have learned how all motivation can be lost when the final exams are done. Most students just want to go home and rest. Winter break is a great time to catch up on all the lost sleep, and to finally eat some real food made by Mom and Dad. It is also a time to come back to all the family drama that we try to stay away from all semester. I think the family drama can be the hardest reality of winter break, at least it is in my case.

This semester has been the toughest one yet in every aspect of my life. When I first arrived home, I expected a little bit of a reward and time to discuss my life realizations with my grandpa. I wanted to reflect on all the strides I have made, especially with my eating disorder and my Catholic faith. This was not what happened at all. I have been triggered almost 100% of the 24 hours of being home. Home is where all the bad habits started for me, and temptation to lean on this crutch is very difficult to resist. I have exhibited many behaviors associated with my eating disorder already, but this does not mean I have regressed to who I was a year ago.

A year ago, I was not in counseling. I had a bad day everyday. I emerged myself into the world of eating disorders. My faith was very weak. One year later, I am in counseling weekly. I have more good days than bad days. Most importantly, I have leaned on God in my toughest battles. At times, I have certainly lost hope, motivation, and even some perseverance in the depths of my eating disorder. Moments of “failure” occur, no matter how much I want to avoid them, but it is in these moments where I learn the most about myself.

When I fail, God is right there with me. He gives me these hints that each day is a new day, and that He still loves me. He looks to my heart, where I carry all my scars and pain. The work involved in recovery and in growing deeper in my faith never stops whether it’s winter break or not. Christ is battling for your heart, your family, and every one He has created. We are all made in His image. Some people are just covering it up with lies.