Let God Find You There
The author wished to remain anonymous.
What happens when you are 23 years old and your life comes crashing down around you? What happens when you suddenly have a word for the way your parents treated you as a child, a reason why you don’t remember most of elementary school? What happens on the day when you open your mouth and the words my parents abused me comes out?
What happens when you are standing alone in a pile of ash that no longer resembles the life you thought you had?
At first you stand there alone, I won’t lie to you about that. On some level you want to be alone, you need to be alone. Somehow, in the loneliness, the fullness of the pain can be realized. You will be tempted to stay there alone thinking that no one can begin to understand what you are going through and what you have experienced.
Don’t feel guilty about wanting to stand there alone.
But life is not lived standing still.
Let God find you there in the ash and the ruin. He knows what it’s like to be alone, rejected, abandoned, and betrayed by the ones who were closest to Him. Let God bring you people who know how to help and who you will let help. Let God bring you people who you can decide to trust.
Then slowly, very slowly, many times painfully slowly, you will begin to brush aside the ash and realize the beauty that lies underneath.
For you will not leave my soul among the dead, nor let your beloved know decay. // Psalm 16:10
I’m proud of you.
p.s. You are enough